


Pay Back

by thblackflame



Series: Best Friends [2]
Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-01-10 02:21:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1153623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thblackflame/pseuds/thblackflame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the other night in the pool, Makoto isn't sure who he wants to be with, but Nagisa has a plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to "Wrong Time." Multi-chapter fic~! Yey~! More MakoNagi~!

**Chapter One**

“That eraser must taste really good.”

Makoto jumped and the pencil he had been chewing on went flying. The desk almost went flying too, but he managed to catch the legs with his feet before it could tumble. He set it right before he looked around for the pencil, only to have it shoved unceremoniously under his nose.

He looked up from the pencil to the boy holding it and felt a faint blush creep over his cheeks. “Ah…thanks, Nagisa.”

The blond smiled cheerfully at him. There was no hint in his expression that would suggest that he was at all uncomfortable being in Makoto’s presence. That only served to annoy Makoto. Why should he be the only one uncomfortable? 

_Maybe because he’s not the one who called someone else’s name while you were being intimate?_

Makoto told his inner voice to shut the hell up. It’s not like he didn't know that. His memory played the whole thing out quite well for him every few hours. Still. It would be nice if he wasn't the only one who was on pins and needles of confusion. Maybe then he wouldn't feel like such an ass.

_You should feel like an ass._

_Shut it, Brain._

“Ne, Mako-chan?”

Makoto looked up startled. “Yes. What?”

Nagisa had a brow raised as he watched Makoto with those startling ruby eyes. Had they always been such a fascinating color? Had he ever noticed them before?

The blond continued to look at him like he wasn't quite sure if Makoto was in possession of all his mental faculties. “I was just asking if you were okay. You seem a little on edge.”

Makoto had to raise his own brow at that. “A little? And you’re not?”

“Why would I be on edge?”

Makoto just watched him steadily.

It took a minute, but realization dawned in those intriguing eyes. “Oh. You mean because of Saturday.”

Makoto looked around uneasily, wanting to be sure that they couldn't be overheard. “That would be chiefest on my mind, yes.”

Nagisa’s eyelids lowered as he dropped his gaze, his lashes shadowing their vibrant color. “I don’t see why that would put me on edge.”

Makoto looked around again, then hissed. “I said someone else’s name, Nagisa-kun. When we were…”

Nagisa shrugged. “Yes. You did, but you said the name of the one you love. It’s only natural.”

Makoto sighed and turned to look out the window. He couldn't look into those eyes right now. He didn't want to see that fake understanding there. Nagisa thought he was good at hiding his emotions, but those eyes were just too expressive. They always showed what he was feeling.

“Maybe,” he said, conceding the blond’s point. “But, I wasn't with that person. I was with you.”

“You were upset. You’d just gotten shocking news and you were trying to find comfort.” His voice lowered. “It just so happened that you found it with me.”

“That doesn't excuse my behavior.” Makoto continued to look out the window, focusing on the swimming pool that sparkled in the afternoon sun.

“I’m not upset, Mako-chan. It doesn't bother me. I understand.”

Makoto couldn't help looking back, his jaw clenching. “Now, that’s a load of shit, and you know it.”

Nagisa gazed at the brunet, the surprise lighting up his eyes. How had Makoto never noticed them before? “I don’t really know what you’re talking about.”

Makoto stood up suddenly and moved very close to Nagisa. He glanced around, noticing that the room had cleared out. It was getting late, but he thought that there would at least be a couple of students cleaning up the room. Apparently they were already finished.

The brunet moved closer to Nagisa, nearly pressed fully against the smaller swimmer. “You know exactly what I’m talking about, Nagisa.” He voice was low, and there was a breathless quality to it that surprised him.

“It does bother you, Nagisa. Why are you trying to hide it?” His face was very close to Nagisa’s and he was hit with the sudden, inexplicable urge to close the space between them.

“I’m not trying to hide anything, Mako-chan.” 

Nagisa’s voice was just as soft as Makoto’s, just as breathless. He had his hands braced behind him on the desk that was at the back of his thighs, though he wasn't trying to get away. Interesting.

“Really?” Makoto leaned in just a fraction more, their lips just a breath apart. Slowly, the brunet’s hand moved up, snaking around Nagisa’s hips and pressing to the small of the blond’s back. “Is that so? Are you sure about that?”

Nagisa’s eyes darkend, darting back and forth between Makoto’s eyes and his lips and he shook his head just slightly. His lips were parted and his breath was coming fast. Makoto could feel the pounding of Nagisa’s heart against his chest. He thought that it was beating just as hard and fast as his own.

“No.”

It was a simple word, but there was so much unconcealed longing in it that Makoto couldn't stop himself from closing the gap and pulling Nagisa flush against him.

It was a hot kiss. Maybe even hotter than the kisses they had shared in the pool the other night. Makoto didn't wait for an invitation, but delved past those parted lips and twined his tongue with Nagisa’s.

They both moaned together, the sounds muffled between their lips. Nagisa wrapped both arms around Makoto’s shoulders, pulling himself even closer. He opened his mouth farther, swirling his tongue around Makoto’s . 

The brunette slid his hand down to Nagisa’s ass where it was joined by his other hand and he lifted the smaller man and set him on top of the desk. Automatically, Nagisa’s legs parted and wrapped around Makoto’s hips.

The brunet leaned forward, holding onto the far edge of the desk with one hand as he slid the other arm back around Nagisa’s waist to hold him up. With a groan he set his pelvis into the cradle of Nagisa’s and ground against him.

Nagisa broke the kiss with a gasp and his head lolled back. “Ah, fuck, Mako-chan.”

Makoto used the opportunity to tilt his head down and suck gently on the blond’s pale throat. He kissed his way along Nagisa’s jaw line, stopping to nip sharply at the place just below his earlobe when Nagisa’s nails started to dig into his back through his uniform shirt. Nagisa gasped and dug his nails in harder.

Makoto could feel Nagisa getting hard against him. He couldn't stop his movements. It occurred to him, distantly, that this was probably the last thing he should be doing. He was confused enough as it was. He really shouldn't be doing this and confusing himself even more. It just felt so damn good, right even. He couldn't have torn himself away from Nagisa’s hot little body if the world ended. His thoughts were completely consumed by wanting to feel good and making Nagisa feel good.

They were rubbing against each other hard and fast. The little desk was making small scraping sounds as it moved with each grinding thrust. Makoto covered Nagisa’s mouth quickly as his voice started to get louder and he muffled the sound as best he could, even through his own moaning. He was so close. Just a few more minutes and he’d come. God, he hoped Nagisa was close, too.

“Oh. Um.”

All movement stilled. Makoto opened his eyes and saw Nagisa’s wide, rosy ones staring back at him in surprise. He had the same “oh, shit” look that Makoto probably had on his own face. As a unit, the pair turned, staring in horror at Haru.

Hastily the two swimmers parted, though Nagisa was a little more languid than Makoto would have liked.

“Um. Hi, Haru.”

Haru face was expressionless, as usual. He gave them both a blank stare that would have been nonplussed on anyone else, but really was just bland from Haru. “Sorry to interrupt,” he started.

“No, no! You’re not—“

“You’re forgiven, Haru-chan.”

Makoto turned to stare at the blond. “Um.” It wasn't brilliant, it wasn't particularly articulate, but it was the best he could come up with at the moment.

Nagisa pushed himself up into a sitting position and smiled brightly at Haru, sitting forward a little, to minimize the sight of his tenting fabric of his pants. Makoto’s had been rapidly been deflating since Haru had spoken up, but before Nagisa's erection was completely hidden from view, Makoto caught the sight of a darker spot of moisture on the fly of his slacks.

The brunet licked his lips as he remembered what that had tasted like. He could taste the salty, almost sweet of Nagisa’s cum and he casually sat back in his chair to hide the fact that his own pants were starting to bulge again.

Haru cleared his throat and Makoto turned his attention back to the dark-haired swimmer. “I was coming to see if the two of you were coming to practice or not. You weren't in the locker room, so we weren't sure.”

Makoto opened his mouth to answer, but Nagisa beat him to the punch again. “I had just been getting Mako-chan myself, but we got…distracted.”

There was a gleam in Haru’s eyes. If Makoto hadn't know the guy for so long, he might have missed it, but he knew that look. Haru was highly amused. “I see that. Are you guys coming,” he paused, “to practice, that is? Or should I tell the others that you’re busy?”

“We’ll be there in a minute,” Makoto replied.

Nagisa nodded. “We sure will. In a minute,” he emphasized with a smirk. Makoto could feel a blush creep over his cheeks again. 

The corner of Haru’s mouth twitched up just the tiniest bit, but for Haru he might as well have had a shit eating grin. “We’ll wait for you.” With that, Haru turned on his heel and left.

Despite the arousal Makoto felt, the mood was completely ruined and he just deflated altogether, slumping in his chair. A few moments later, he heard the scraping of the desk and when he looked up, Nagisa was standing over him, one hand placed flat on his desk. He leaned into Makoto’s space, a hard look in his expressive eyes.

“That was very mean, Mako-chan,” he said quietly, leaning in as close as Makoto had been leaning into the blond before. His free hand brushed up the inseam of Makoto’s thigh and the brunet could feel the little tingle of his body’s renewed interest. “You’re right. It does upset me that you said Haru’s name in my ear with that sexy voice. It pissed me off. I was going to be nice about it because I thought that all you wanted was comfort and I was going to make myself be okay with that.”

Nagisa leaned in and nuzzled a spot behind Makoto’s ear. He took a deep breath, and his exhalation blew gently across Makoto’s ear, making the taller swimmer shiver and he closed his eyes. “But, what you just did was very mean. So I’m going to get you back.” Nagisa’s tongue flicked the curve of the brunet’s ear. Makoto bit back a moan. “When you least expect it.”

Abruptly, Nagisa’s presence was gone and when Makoto opened his eyes, Nagisa was already across the room and waiting for him at the door. “Well? Are you coming?”

Makoto pinched his lips together and stood, grabbing up his book bag before swinging it around so it hid his new erection. _Not at the moment. Again,_ he thought to himself, but he made sure not to voice his discomfort. 

They were both silent as they made their way through the school’s halls to the locker room. The others were still getting ready when they entered the room and to Makoto’s surprise, Nagisa took his hand and dragged him fully into the room. 

“Mako-chan and I are dating!”

Makoto stared at Nagisa in complete and total shock. “We’re what?!”

Nagisa gave him a feral smile and whispered in a low tone. “Told you, I’d get you back.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the other night in the pool, Makoto isn't sure who he wants to be with, but Nagisa has a plan.

Makoto managed to start practice without thinking too hard. What else was he supposed to do? He really didn’t want to talk to Nagisa about his impromptu announcement in front of the others. He’d already been caught in a compromising position with the blond by Haru. He didn’t want to have to explain things to the others.

Somehow, he was able to ignore the majority of the grins and knowing looks from the guys. Every time Nagisa caught his eye, though, he couldn’t help the blush that stole over his face. There was a look in the small blond’s eyes that Makoto wasn’t too sure he wanted to analyze. He recognized it, he thought, but it was only when they had been alone together that he had seen it before. Which meant that he had seen it while they had been messing around.

“Are you going to go, or are we going to wait around for you to remember that we just started?”

Makoto looked up. Nagisa was squatting down, his arms crossed over his knees. He had a smirk on his face as his eyes peered down into the water as if he was trying to remove Makoto from his swimsuit with the power of his colorful eyes alone. Makoto felt his body wanting to respond to the scrutiny but squelched it immediately. This was not the time.

He glared at the blond as he drew his knees to his chest and braced his feet against the wall. “We’re going to talk about this, later,” he hissed under his breath.

“I look forward to it.”

Oh, he was so not going to dignify that with an answer. Without a word, his legs bunched and he launched himself backward into the water. The rush of water past his ears drove all other thoughts from his mind. His arms plunging over his head and back into the water made his chest and back work in opposition of one another. It felt good, the way his pecs would pull and stretch with the ease of long practice and his back muscles would take over when the pectoral muscles would leave off.

His legs kicked with controlled strength, his quads and his hamstrings stretched and constricted, alternating between the two muscle groups. Makoto’s abdomen tightened as he kept his body straight in the water, and his glutes were clenched rock-hard to keep his pelvis from twisting while he kicked. It was the perfect syncopation of body, mind and spirit. This was the only time he had ever felt this free.

Except that wasn’t true anymore was it? He’d felt his body move like this before. He had felt this perfect distribution of energy and movement with…Nagisa. The way his body had tightened in anticipation. His abs and ass has moved in synergistic perfection as he’d ground his hard cock into Nagisa’s pelvis.

_Did I really just compare swimming to sex?_

But were the two really all that different? After all, he found a considerable amount of satisfaction and pleasure in both activities. Well, maybe he found more in one than the other.

Makoto hit the wall with his outstretched hand and took a breath just as he dove under and flipped, pushing off the wall with his feet. He took a breath when his face broke the surface again and made a mad dash for the starting point again.

Just as he hit the wall, Nagisa was diving over him. He looked up just in time to see the smirk that the blond shot him before Nagisa was plunging into the water and speeding off.

Makoto followed the smaller man with his eyes as he moved. He watched what he could see of the tight, straining muscles of Nagisa’s back as he swam.

“Makoto?”

By sheer force of will, Makoto kept himself from jumping and turned to Haru. He tried to school his expression into something that didn’t look like he had been thinking about Nagisa and compromising positions. “Yes?”

A slight twitching at the corners of Haru’s eyes made Makoto think that he wasn’t all that successful in his attempt. “Are you distracted today?”

Makoto’s eyes grew wide, startled enough to forgo trying to hide his thoughts. “What do you mean?”

Haru’s eyes shifted in the direction of Kou and Makoto cast his glance toward her. She was looking down at the stopwatch in her hand, but she kept shooting glares at Makoto.

“Your time just now was worse than when we started the swim club. And your technique was way off.”

Makoto felt his cheeks grow hot as he thought about why he had been distracted. “Sorry about that.”

Nagisa was on his way back now, so Makoto hauled himself out of the pool to sit on the edge. “I guess I am a little distracted.”

“It’s been a long day.”

Makoto looked up at Haru who was moving back toward the starting block, pulling his goggles over his head. His expression betrayed nothing, but the brunet thought that maybe he was teasing him a little. He wouldn’t have put it past the dark-haired swimmer.

“It has,” he said simply. No point in trying to suss out Haru’s meaning. Either he was teasing him, or he wasn’t. It didn’t really matter one way or the other.

As Haru got himself ready, Nagisa returned to the starting block and Rei dove in, his technique flawless. Nagisa pulled himself out of the pool, but didn’t give Makoto so much as a glance as he walked over and grabbed a towel to dry his face.

Makoto took the opportunity to let his eyes wander over Haru. He had done it enough times over the years to make sure that no one noticed him. Haru’s body was just as highly toned as the rest of the me members of the team. His upper back and shoulders were whipcord and not an ounce of fat softening the statuesque perfect of them. They rippled under his sun-darkened skin as he moved.

Makoto’s eyes moved down to the swaying curve of his low back and to the perfect rounding of his ass. It was just the right shape for someone to fill their hands with. Haru’s thighs, hard and powerful, flared and sloped before smoothing down past his knees to calves that were defined enough to clearly see the lines of when he wore his slacks.

Haru was a superb example of muscular perfection. It made Makoto’s mouth water to see so much of his body, and he wanted to outright panted when Haru wore his snug uniform slacks and he thought about the way they stretched over his hips. Except today.

Makoto still found Haru very attractive, and there was a substantial force of attraction for him as he eyed the other youth, but today it was somehow…muted. It didn’t consume him today the way it had before Saturday. The sight of the luscious body didn’t make him want to grow hard and have to think about horrible sights that he would never want to see just to keep from showing the proof of his attraction to the others.

Haru seemed to feel Makoto’s attention on him and he turned slightly to look at him through the corner of his eyes. He smiled slightly before he stepped onto the starting block.

Curious. Those slight smiles used to make his blood run hot. He had always felt like those little smiles were reserved for him, but he knew better now. What kind of expressions flitted over Haru’s face when he was alone with Rin? At the very least, those little smiles. After all, Makoto was just the best friend. Sure, Haru shared more of himself with Makoto than with anyone else…except Rin.

Something ached in the general vicinity of the brunet’s chest and he rubbed the center of it as he watched Haru launch himself into the water. Some of his confusion faded as he watched the power in those freestyle strokes, like Haru was embracing the water. Who knew? This was Haru. Maybe he was.

Makoto smiled to himself as he watched his friend. Yes, he still loved Haru. Somehow, he’d gotten confused by his attraction to Nagisa, but he knew he loved Haru. He was content to let everything go with that thought, but then he caught sight of the blond’s face.

Nagisa watched Makoto closely, his eyes half-lidded. When he saw Makoto looking at him, a slow curve quirked Nagisa’s lips and there was something…predatory about that gaze. The brunet became aware all at once that his confusion hadn’t faded in the slightest. Here was the racing pulse, the quickening of his blood that he hadn’t gotten when he’d watched Haru.

The way that Nagisa’s eyes moved over him was what he imagined his lingering gaze had looked like when he’d assessed Haru. There was a sultry heat in the uniquely colored eyes. Nagisa parted his lips and licked them with the tip of his tongue. There was nothing slutty about it. It was just a simple act that had nothing to do with seduction, but Makoto found his eyes riveted to the movement all the same.

Nagisa dropped his towel carelessly on the bench and made his way toward Makoto. The grace in Nagisa’s lithe form was sleek and powerful, like a jungle cat and the brunet found it a little difficult to breathe.

Nagisa knelt next to Makoto and leaned into him just a little. “Like what you see?” the blond asked in an undertone.

Nagisa was close enough that his chest brushed against Makoto’s arm and he could detect just a hint of the smaller man’s scent, a strangely enticing mixture of chlorine and slightly sweet musk that was all Nagisa. Makoto inhaled deeply, reveling in the fact that he could register the scent and branding it in his memory.

“You have no idea,” he breathed, his eyes fluttering closed.

Nagisa gave a soft, sexy chuckle. “Oh, I can make an educated guess.”

“You’re teasing me,” Makoto grumbled as he opened his eyes and force his attention on Haru’s return.

“You were staring at Haru-chan. I got jealous.”

Makoto turned back. “Of what?”

Nagisa raised a brow. “My boyfriend is staring at another man. I think I’m justified in a little jealousy and some teasing.”

“You mean you were serious about that?” Makoto had just about pushed the whole thing off on the fact that Nagisa had been getting the brunet back for drying humping him with his little announcement. “I mean, really serious?”

“Quite serious.”

There was a hard look in Nagisa’s eyes. It completely took Makoto aback. It was an expression that he had only seen in the younger man when he was getting ready for a competition. He’d never seen anything on Nagisa’s face but smiles unless he was prepping.

Makoto didn’t get a chance to question the blond though. Once Haru reached the starting block, Kou called them all back over. She gave them all critiques on their initial practice, but mostly she laid into Makoto for his time. He was surprised when she told him what it was because he really _hadn’t_ done that badly since before they had started the club.

“Let’s do it again, guys.” She sent a dark look at Makoto. “Let’s try to break our personal records. We’re going to do three relays in secession. Makoto, you first.” The look spoke volumes, mostly about how Makoto better not screw up this time.

Makoto hid his smile as he nodded and dropped back into the pool. He didn’t think it would be a good idea to let their manager know that she was just too adorable to pull off angry looks. He managed to get his mind out of the gutter for the remainder of practice and he did actually manage to pass his personal best, so by the time he’d finished helping Kou clean up—forced penance—and was heading into the lockers, he felt pretty accomplished.

The others had already finished showering and changing and were already gone. Makoto breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe Nagisa really had been joking around. He got into his locker and pulled a fresh towel and toiletries out before he headed for the shower.

The water was cold at first, but warmed up pretty quickly and he got under the shower head. He was halfway through lathering soap on his body when he turned around, his eyes glancing up automatically when he heard a soft noise.

Makoto’s hands stopped just at his lower abdomen, just above his dick. “Um. Nagisa?”

The blond stood just out of range of the spray. He had his arms crossed over his chest, the sleeves of his uniform shirt rolled up to the elbow. He leaned his shoulder against the wall leading into the showers and he had one ankle crossed over the other one that supported his weight. 

The blond’s shirt was untucked and hung, slightly wrinkled, around his hips. The last few buttons were undone and just a hint of his naval was showing under the parting material. His belted slacks were slung low on his hips, the garment clinging to him like it was hanging on for dear life and Makoto could just make out the outline of the sharp, v-shaped angles of his pelvis under the tails of the shirt.

The sexiest part was the way the collar of his shirt fell open to show his collar bone and his necktie was loosened so the knot stopped where the shirt closed again.

Makoto’s mouth went dry and he licked his lips several times trying to put some moisture into them. He didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t body shy. Every one of them had seen every other one of them naked at one point or another. There just wasn’t any point in trying to hide their bodies.

The way that Nagisa’s eyes traveled over him though was enough to arouse his body, and the evidence was quite clear for Nagisa to see. Makoto was struck, dumbfounded by the thoughts that flooded his mind. There was nothing in the entire world he wanted to do more at this moment than to slide his hands down to his cock and stroke himself off while Nagisa watched. The slow, knowing smirk that curved Nagisa’s lips made him suspect that Nagisa had similar thoughts running through his mind.

Makoto’s hands twitched and he could feel his fingers starting to slowly inch down, but he took himself in hand—not literally because that was exactly what his body wanted—and told his hands to knock it the fuck off.

The brunet cleared his throat. “Um. I’m almost done here. If you need to shower, I’ll be out of the way in a minute.”

Makoto felt a little dumb for saying that because even if Nagisa had wanted to shower, there were several other stalls for him to use, but he couldn’t think of any other brilliant thing to say, so he was stuck with what came out of his mouth.

The small smirk broadened and Nagisa moved one hand up and very deliberately slipped the tips of his fingers just inside the open collar of his shirt and traced little patterns there. Makoto swallowed hard. He was in trouble.

“Oh, don’t mind me. Please. Continue.”

Yep. Deep trouble.


	3. Chapter Three

Nagisa’s eyes were riveted to Makoto’s hands. “Please. Continue.”

Makoto stood frozen. There was a clear invitation in the blond’s half-lidded eyes. He wanted to watch Makoto touch himself and Makoto really wanted to rise to that invitation. It was like a challenge. Like Nagisa had thrown the gauntlet down and it was up to Makoto to take it up, or be labeled a coward.

Makoto was not a coward, but at the same time, what was this going to do to his already seriously confused mind? It seemed the point was moot, though, because he felt his hands starting to slide again. He never took his eyes off Nagisa as his hands reached his length. Well, he did have to clean himself after all.

Makoto’s lips parted and his breath came in uneven little pants as his fingers trailed over his growing hard-on. He was more than a little surprised at how excited he was already. It wasn’t like him to get this hot so quickly. He had never even thought that he would be an exhibitionist but there was just something so hot about the way Nagisa’s eyes narrowed and his chest started rising and falling quickly.

Makoto watched Nagisa as the blond’s hand came out of the shirt and up his neck,his fingers curling around the back. Makoto was struck by the image of his own hand sliding around the back in place of Nagisa’s.

“Wrap your hand around your cock, Mako-chan.” 

Nagisa’s voice was soft and breathy and Makoto couldn’t make out the words, but the intent was clear in the way that the blond’s body tensed and licked his lips. The rosy eyes flickered up to meet his eyes. “Now, Mako-chan.”

Makoto obliged him. Slowly, he moved his hand to the head of his dick and curled his fingers around himself. He bit back a moan, but made no other movement. Makoto was going to be certain to follow direction to a fault. If Nagisa could tease him, he could tease Nagisa.

Makoto’s plan was ill conceived, though; from the sly smirk on the blond’s lips, this was exactly what he wanted.

“Very good, Mako-chan. Now, slide your hand up and stop.”

Despite the warmth of the shower water, Makoto shivered and did as he was instructed. He was hot in his hand, his hardened flesh burning like a brand. Like the heat in Nagisa’s eyes. Makoto wanted to move his hand but Nagisa shot him a look when he started to stroke upward that stopped him.

“I didn’t say you could move your hand yet, Mako-chan. You’re going to have to wait a little longer now.”

He was in so much trouble.

As much as he wanted to keep touching himself, start moving his hand hard and fast, Nagisa’s control was so damn enticing. He stilled his hand and waited.

“Use your left pointer finger to rub circles around the tip, Mako-chan.”

Nothing in Nagisa’s pose changed from the lazy lounging against the wall, but there was a breathless quality to his words and Makoto watched him carefully as he moved his free hand up. He executed the instructions exactly. Being certain not to touch himself in any other way, Makoto pressed the pad of his index finger to the slit opening and swirled it around once. 

Makoto had to take a step back, sucking in air as the electric sensations drove through him. He hissed as he leaned back against the cold tiles of the shower. He tilted his head back and let his mouth hang open while he moaned softly. Nagisa hadn't told him how many times he should do this, so he just kept moving his finger, his body shuddering and his voice getting hoarser.

He was a lot closer to coming than he thought he would be just from a simple move. He closed his eyes, licking the salt off his lip. The water splattered over his chest and arms, a striking staccato against his already sensitized skin. With his eyes closed, Makoto couldn't see what Nagisa was doing, and he really wanted to look, but he couldn't concentrate enough to focus on opening his eyes and looking.

It turned out that he didn't have to. He felt a presence close to him and in a moment, there were hands on his shoulders, one sliding up to his neck. Makoto opened his eyes to mere slits and watched as Nagisa stood on tip-toes to meet his lips.

The blond's lips were cool in comparison to the hot water pounding over the both of them. "Put your hands on me, Mako-chan," the smaller man said against Makoto's lips. "I need you to touch me."

Makoto was only too happy to oblige. While his ministrations to himself felt amazing, it couldn't compare to touching that lithe body. He wrapped his arms around Nagisa's slender frame, sliding his hands under the sodden shirt.

Makoto broke the kiss. "I'm not paying for the cleaning of this uniform," he mumbled. "You did this one all on your own."

Nagisa laughed. "Oh, this is the same uniform, so it's okay."

Makoto rolled his eyes and leaned down to kiss the blond again. He just couldn't get over this taste. It was like honey and strawberries. He pulled Nagisa tighter against him, spreading his legs a little so Nagisa was flush against his pelvis. He felt Nagisa's cock hardening against him, the fly of his slacks pushing into Makoto's crotch. 

"God, why do you feel so fucking good, Nagisa?" Makoto didn't give the blond a chance to answer. He delved into Nagisa's mouth, swallowing his whimpers as he pulled him hard against his own body. His hips started undulating of their own accord and Makoto couldn't think of anything but getting Nagisa's pants off. Right now.

He stood a little straighter but still leaned against the tiled wall. He broke the kiss and looked down while he fumbled with Nagisa's belt and fly. Nagisa's pants were a soaking pile on the tiled floor in moments, and Makoto grabbed hold of his ass and lifted.

Nagisa automatically wrapped his legs around Makoto's waste as the brunet turned and shoved the smaller swimmer into the wall. He was only careful enough to make certain that Nagisa's blond head didn't slam into the tiles behind him before he began his onslaught of that hot little mouth again.

Makoto angled his hands so that his fingers could fondle Nagisa's balls through the material of his briefs. Nagisa's breath hitched and he started panting. The blond's long fingers dug into Makoto's shoulder blades, his nails biting into the brunet's skin. Nagisa broke the kiss as he tilted his head back, his panting breaths turning into a series of aborted moans and sharp cries as Makoto rolled his hips and their cocks rubbed against each other through the sopping cotton of his underwear.

Makoto attached his mouth to the side of Nagisa's throat, sucking and nipping, licking to soothe the bites. His hips started moving in an imitation of fucking, but Makoto had left Nagisa partially clothed for a reason. "God, I want to fuck you, Nagisa," he said into the blond's neck, nuzzling behind his ear.

"Wh-why don't _you_?!" The last word ended on a long drawn out moan as Makoto managed to maneuver a hand under Nagisa's ass and cupped his balls, alternatively squeezing and fondling.

Nagisa's hips started moving in time with Makoto's and the taller man had to take a few deep breaths before he could answer the blond's question. 

"If I had something to use to prepare you, I would." Makoto's voice was low and husky and he bit sharply at Nagisa's earlobe.

Nagisa gasped and his hips bucked. "There's gotta be fucking _something_ around here we can use!"

But, Makoto was forcing his brain to engage. As much as his body protested, he managed to pull his hand away from his fondling and let Nagisa slid back down the wall to stand on his own legs. When he knew the smaller man was steady, he took a step back.

There was hurt in those wide, fair eyes, and Makoto hastened to reassure him. "This doesn't mean I don't want to have sex with you, Nagisa," he said quickly. "It's just…this isn't right." Makoto hung his head. "You're only doing this to get back at me for the other night. I know that. We can't do something like this if there isn't any real feeling behind it." And he sure as hell wasn't going to do it in the school locker room shower.

Nagisa's eyes narrowed. "Who says there's no real feeling behind this?" The blond reached for the tap and turned the water off. 

The silence was a little jarring and Makoto's ears rang a little. He shook his head, as much to clear it as at Nagisa's words. "Come on, Nagisa. It's obvious. You got pissed at me because I said Haru's name while I was making out with you. And I am sorry about that. It was incredibly insensitive of me. I lost my head and I'm sorry. But, you're only trying to get payback, right?"

Nagisa started at him and then scoffed, a humorless smile tugging the corner of his lips. He shook his head slowly and reached for his pants. "You are so fucking slow, Mako-chan," he said as he starting wringing them out. "Fine. Fuck it. Whatever."

Once he had most of the water out of his slacks he stalked past Makoto who was suddenly aware of his nudity as Nagisa seemed unaware of his state of undress, and he was seriously confused. Well, more so than before. "So…so we're done with the payback right?" he asked as he reached for his towel and wrapped it around his hips.

Nagisa shook out his pants and laid them over the bench before he turned to his locker. "What gave you that idea?" Nagisa didn't turn, but there was a strange quality to his voice. There was none of the cheerfulness that Makoto was used to.

"Well, I mean, since we both know that the boyfriend thing is a sham…"

Nagisa pulled his jersey pants out of his locker and turned to face Makoto. His eyes were dark and his mouth was set in a hard line. "It's payback, Makoto," he sneered. "You don't get out of it just because you know it's payback. You're just gonna have to deal with it."

Nagisa sat down to shuck off his briefs and slipped his jersey pants on, then shucked his shirt and tie off at once and pulled his jersey shirt out to pull over his head. He took out a bag he used for his swimsuit and shoved his uniform in with it. All of this he did without speaking or even looking at Makoto.

For his part, the brunet was shocked. He couldn't remember the last time Nagisa had called him by his given name. I couldn't remember the last time Nagisa had called _anyone_ by their given name. It was just so...un-Nagisa-like.

"I'll see you in class tomorrow," was all the blond said as he slipped his bare feet into his shoes and left.

Makoto stared after him, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do now...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I am a shitty author. I don't even wanna go look at how long it's been since I've updated this. I really hope you all forgive me, and I promise to update this more often until it's done. It's not going to be a long fic, but after this, I hope to start working on the RinHaru fic that is part of this series. I hope you enjoyed this as the plot thickens!


	4. Chapter 4

The next few weeks were no less confusing for Makoto. On the one hand, Nagisa seemed to be back to his old self, at least while other were around. He clung to Makoto, slinking against him like a cat in heat. When they were alone he all but ignored the brunet.

Then there was Haru. It seemed that there was something wrong with the dark haired swimmer. Haru was always pretty stoic, not really showing his emotions in his expressions, but he was just a little lethargic. His eyes didn't gleam quite as much when someone mentioned swimming or pools. He didn't even look at Rin when the five friends were hanging out.

For that matter, Rin didn't really look at Haru either. They still spoke to one another, which was really impressive since they did so without eye contact. There was none of the closeness that had always been there, and none of the intimate tension that had been there since the two had started dating.

Makoto shook the thoughts from his head. He sighed and tried once more to listen to the teacher. English wasn't his best subject, so he really should be paying attention. He just couldn't get his brain to focus on anything. Well, anything other than what was going on between his friends. He just really wanted everything to go back to normal. He was getting heartily tired of this confusing shit.

"Tachibana-san?"

Makoto looked up, startled and dropped his book, wincing when it tumbled to the floor. "Ah, yes?"

Sensei didn't look all that impressed. "Is that a question, or an answer?"

"Uh…" Makoto looked around trying to see if he could get any hints from his classmates, but most of them either watched him expectantly, vacantly or with hands hiding their giggles. "What was the question?"

There was an explosion of laughter and Sensei nodded. 

"That's what I thought." Sensei sighed. "Tachibana-san. Please pay attention from now on."

Makoto felt the tips of his ears heat up and his stomach burned with embarrassment. He sat back down and reached for his book. When he looked, it wasn't on the floor anymore, but at eye level for him. Makoto looked up at Haru.

He smiled up at his friend and took the book from him. "San kyu, Haru." 

As he took the book, their fingers touched and Makoto felt a spark go through him. He looked up into Haru's dark eyes again and saw…something. He didn't know what. Haru always looked like he was thinking about something, even when stoic--probably about water--but there was something else there this time. His speculative look was more focused than abstract.

Makoto tilted his head as he took the text from the other's grip. "Haru?"

Haru smiled slightly and looked back up at Sensei for moment, who had her back to the class as she wrote something on the board. "Ne, Makoto," Haru said, keeping his voice low. "Do you wanna come over to my house today? I kinda need to ask you for advice."

Makoto glanced through the side of his eye at Sensei to make sure she was still turned away from them. "Sure. What's up?"

Haru sat back up straight. "I'll tell you tonight, okay?"

Makoto sat up as well. "Sure thing."

He made that slight smile again and focused back on what Sensei was saying. Makoto followed suit and managed to at least look like he was paying attention, even if he mind raced the whole time. He was going to Haru's house! He hadn't really hung out in Haru's house since Haru had told him that he was with Rin. And what was it that Haru wanted to ask him? What kind of advice could he possibly give? He certainly wasn't doing all that well in his own life just at the moment.

But he was not going to pass up hanging with Haru.

He spent the rest of the day wishing it would hurry up and finish. Even when classes were over, there was still practice. As usual, Nagisa was all over him. Not as usual were the dirty looks that Nagisa and Haru were shooting at one another. They had never behaved that way before. It was a little freaky, apparently for everyone involved because Gou finally decided that they were going to end practice early.

Makoto was just rinsing out the chlorine from his hair when the dirty looks became something else entirely.

"Mako-chan~!" 

Makoto looked up, startled at Nagisa's tone, then realized they weren't alone and that was why he was being nice. Makoto squeezed water out of his hair and he turned his attention to the blond. "Yes, Nagisa?"

He thought he saw Nagisa's left eye twitch at response, but he kept that smile on his lips. "Were do you want to go after school today?"

Makoto blinked because he was certain they hadn't made any plans to do anything at all today, at least not together. "Ah…well, I did make some plans…" Makoto turned his head slightly and looked at Haru who was clenching his jaw. Makoto took an involuntary step back. He'd never seen Haru shoot that kind of look at anyone, much less Nagisa.

Nagisa narrowed his eyes at Haru. "Well, I wanted to do something with you, Mako-chan."

Makoto's eyes moved back and forth between the pair's heated stares and he wondered why neither of them was on fire, yet. He took a deep breath and focused on Nagisa. "I would like to do something with you, Nagisa, but, Haru asked me to come over today, and I didn't think you would mind me hanging out with him for a while."

Those fair eyes darkened and that jaw clenched. Slowly, one of his brows arched. "You're going over to Haru's house?" he asked very quietly.

Makoto nodded slowly, wondering if maybe he should have focused on Haru instead. "Ah…yes?"

"Is that a question or an answer?"

Makoto managed not to burst out in uncomfortable giggles at the echo of Sensei's words. He took a deep breath before he answered that question. "It's an answer. Haru asked me to come over and I told him I would."

"So you think that's appropriate?"

"What would be inappropriate about it?" He was genuinely surprised because none of them had ever acted this…jealous before. He recognized it finally in the looks that his best friends sent to one another. He'd felt it often enough to know what it looked like.

"No. It's fine. Have fun." Nagisa's tore his eyes away from Haru and looked back at Makoto. "Call me when you get home, ne?" He stood on his tip toes and brushed a lazy, slanting kiss against Makoto's lips. "Ne?"

Makoto was a little dumbstruck from how much his mind and body reacted to that slow kiss, but he didn't miss the dirty look he threw in Haru's direction before he left the locker room. When he looked at Haru, he was still glaring at Nagisa's retreating backside. What in the fuck was going on?

"You ready, Mako?"

Makoto shook his head to rid his mind of the little fantasies Nagisa's backside had inspired and turned wide eyes on Haru. "Eh? Oh!" He chuckled, a little embarrassed as he rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. "Yeah, just let me get my shoes on."

The walk to Haru's house was quite. That wasn't all that unusual to be honest, but at the same time there was something in that silence that felt like it was about to explode and drop on them any moment and it was more oppressive than the humidity of the evening. It was lucky that the trip wasn't so long and he let a sigh of relief pass his lips once the door was shut behind him.

They both removed their shoes and dropped their bags right in the entrance. Haru moved to the door looking into the back yard and opened it, staring out as if he could divine some answer out there. Makoto walked over and stood next to him, tilting his head a little to try and get a look at Haru's face.

"Okay. Now what's wrong? You've been a little off for the last week. And what was that with Nagisa after practice?"

Haru was quite for a long moment and Makoto knew better than to try and prompt him. Haru took his own time in doing things. Finally, Haru took a breath and spoke.

"Do you ever wonder if you made the right decision?"

Makoto stared at Haru, furrowing his brow. "Uh…well, yeah. I mean, that's how it works, isn't it? You make a decision and sometimes you're not sure if you were right." Makoto knew that feeling very well, actually, especially for the last few weeks.

Haru turned his head a little and looked at Makoto through the corner of his eye. "What do you do?"

Makoto quirked his lips to the side as he thought. "Well, I either deal with the consequences of my decision, or I change my mind and deal with those consequences. That's all you can really do, right?"

"And if you want to change your mind? Is that ever worse than if you just stuck with the decision you already made?"

Makoto shrugged. "Sometimes. Sometimes not. I mean, if you're unhappy with the decision you've made, shouldn't you make the decision that makes you happy?"

Haru stared at him for a long time, then very slowly he moved so that he was very close to Makoto and he put both hands on either side of Makoto's face. "Will this make me happy?" And then Haru kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yey~! New chapter~! Finally! Yes, okay. I know I said I would post more often. This time I really mean it! In fact, chapter five is already written, I just need to go through it, so that will be posted within the next week. I hope to have chapter six done but the end of the month. I still don't know how many chapters this will be, but I only anticipate maybe the next one and one more after that. So, yey~! This is actually almost done! And with Nano and Christmas being over, I can get back to writing. ^_^ Hope you enjoyed this chapter~!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late post on this chapter! It was supposed to be done at the end of January, but I got sick and when trying to edit this chapter, I realized that my brain was just not having it. So here it is! Hope you enjoy~!

For just a moment, heaven opened up. He was full of warmth and happiness and he sighed, surrendering to it. How many times had he imagined what Haru's lips would feel like against his own? They were warmer than he'd envisioned so many times in his dreams, soft and yielding. But, hadn't Makoto kissed softer? 

He furrowed his brow and pushed the thought away. Of course, he'd never kissed lips this soft. Makoto sighed again and tilted his head just a little, laid a hand gently against his best friend's cheek. Haru deepened the kiss and they stayed like that, kissing slowly, bathed in the soft light of the sunset. It was the perfect setting for such a romantic and heartfelt kiss. But…it was missing something.

The kiss slowed and they parted for a moment, opening their eyes and looking deeply into the others. It was blue eyes Makoto looked into and suddenly, filled with regret and sadness, realized they weren't the eyes he really wanted to look into.

Haru closed his eyes again and leaned into Makoto, but he stopped him with a reluctant hand against his chest and took a step back. Haru's eyes snapped open and he looked at Makoto with surprise.

"Makoto?"

Makoto licked his lips and tasted Haru's lingering flavor. Part of him reveled in it, just for a moment, but then it soured and he shook his head. "Haru, I can't do this."

Haru furrowed his brow, taking his own step back and wrapped his arms around himself when Makoto's hand fell away from his chest. "Why?"

Makoto swallowed back bile as the guilt rose in him. "Because I'm with Nagisa."

Tilting his head and raising a brow, Haru gave Makoto a incredulous look. "Are you?"

For lack of any other reaction, Makoto blinked. "Um…yes?"

"That sounds like a question."

Strange that he seemed to answer questions that way lately and three times had been called on it today. "It's not a question. Yes, I'm with Nagisa."

Haru shook his head slightly. "You don't act like it."

Makoto planted his hands on his hips almost offended at what was starting to feel like an attack. "What are you talking about? We're all over each other."

Haru snorted and shifted his arms so they were crossed in front of him. "No you're not. _Nagisa_ hangs on you, but it's not real for him. You can tell it's an act, at least for the last couple of weeks. And _you_ barely look at him, much less touch him." Haru shook his head again and turned so he could watch the sun drop below the back wall of his yard. "Whatever the two of you are playing at, it's obviously pretend."

Makoto twisted his lips. Okay, so Haru had a point. Maybe they weren't really together. But…

"But you're with Rin."

Haru look at him through the corner of his eyes. "That's…debatable."

That shocked him like botching a dive and hitting the water belly first. "Eh?"

Haru turned his gaze back out to the garden and leaned against the door jam. "Rin and I aren't sure how we feel right now."

Makoto moved to place a hand on Haru's shoulder, but stopped short. He dropped his hand back to his side. "What happened?" he asked. "I mean, you were so happy when you told me you were with Rin. What happened?"

Haru looked at him again. "I saw you dry humping Nagisa."

"Um, what?"

Haru sighed, dragging a hand through his hair before wrapping his arms around his torso again. "I got jealous when I saw you like that with Nagisa," he said softly. "It made me wonder if I really like Rin or…if I really liked you."

Makoto just stared at his best friend. How in the hell was he supposed to react to that? He was aware that something was different between Rin and Haru, but as far as he knew, they were happy together. Now Haru suddenly had feelings for Makoto, which he had never shown in all the years they had been friends? 

And then it made sense. He knew what had been missing from the kiss. There had been love, oh so much love. But it wasn't the kind that Makoto had been looking for coming from Haru. There had been no passion. It had just been a nice kiss with no more in it than the placing of lips together and Makoto wanted so much more than that. And he knew the difference. Maybe if he'd never kissed Nagisa…

Makoto closed his eyes, feeling them sting for a moment. He sighed and swallowed before looking back up at Haru. "You were jealous of my relationship with Nagisa."

Haru nodded.

Makoto bit the inside of his cheek, vowing he would get through this. "And how did you feel kissing me just now?"

Haru lowed his eyes as he thought. "I…don't know. It was nice."

"Did it feel like how it feels when you…" Makoto took a deep breath, ruthlessly shoving down the agony in his heart. "When you kiss Rin?"

Haru licked his lips then gave his head a slight shake. "Not…really."

Makoto clenched his jaw as his stomach dropped and his heart seized. "It doesn't feel right when you kiss me, does it?"

Haru looked up at Makoto and he read it all right there. The sadness and the pity. "No."

Makoto lowered his eyes and now he wrapped his arms around himself. "But it feels right when you kiss Rin."

"Yes."

Makoto felt like he was dying. For a moment, he couldn't breathe and in his mind he wailed. Then he took a shuttering breath and stood up straight. "You don't like me that way, Haru. You were jealous because when I'm with Nagisa, my world doesn't focus on you anymore."

Haru's eyes went wide. "Mako, that's not-!"

Makoto put up a hand and shook his head. "That's exactly it. I'm your best friend and deep down you know that I…" His breath caught again and he inhaled slowly. "That I love you."

Haru opened his mouth to speak and Makoto went on quickly. "I have spent every waking moment thinking about you, loving who you are and it came through in my actions with you. Deep down, you knew that." He sighed. "When you saw me with Nagisa, suddenly your admirer wasn't completely focused on you anymore."

"I…but, I didn't mean…"

Makoto felt his eyes misting as he tried to smile and he closed his eyes while his lips stretched. "It's not your fault, Haru. You just didn't expect to lose your best friend. Which you're not." Makoto gave up on the smile and opened his eyes to look down at his feet. "We're just going to have a different relationship from now on because you love Rin. You do love him, right, Haru?" He couldn't look up so he waited, his heart splitting slowly.

"Yes."

Makoto nodded, his eyes still lowered. "That's what I thought. You should talk to him. Work things out."

He could hear Haru shift from one foot to the other. "But I told him I needed time to think. He didn't take it too well."

Makoto put on his best smile as he looked back up, even while his guts writhed and his stomach burned. God how he wished he could have taken what Haru had offered him, but it wouldn't have been real. "It won't matter. Rin loves you, too, Haru."

The hopeful look in Haru's eyes sliced into him. "How do you know for sure?"

"Because he looks at you the same way I do." 

The pity that filled Haru's eyes nearly broke the last of his resolve and Makoto quickly turned before Haru could see the glassiness of his eyes or hear him choking back a sob.

"Mako…I-"

"Call Rin." He said carefully, forcing his voice to steady. "Talk to him."

Makoto didn't wait for a response. He put his shoes on at the door and snatched up his school bag before he fled his best friend's house. He walked home slowly, passing a hand gently over the neighborhood cat who's concerned mew made him smile just a little. It gave him just enough strength that he smiled as he walked into the house.

He kept the smile all through the rest of the evening while he played games with his siblings and ate supper with all of the family. He took what strength he could from their love and let it bolster him through the night until it was time for bed.

When everyone had gone to their own beds and he was alone in his room, the tears came again. He let them fall, muffling the sobs he couldn't contain anymore in his hands. With his back against the door, he slid down it to sit dejected on the floor, trying to tell himself there was nothing to be sad about. He was finally able to tell Haru that he loved him. And then told Haru what he should do with the one _he_ loved. Just like a good best friend should.

Makoto pressed his eyes against his knees and wrapped his arms around his legs while his body wracked with silent sobs. Yes. He was a good best friend.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These last few chapters are dedicated to my readers. Those of you who have continued hoping for updates for well over a year. I want to thank you for your patience with me. I’m so very sorry that it has taken me this long to update. I also want to thank Remembrance for the deadline. It was the kick in the butt I needed. With that, please enjoy!

Makoto took a deep breath as he stepped passed the gates of the school. Somehow, over the course of the night and this morning, he had managed to pick up the shattered pieces of his heart and shove them back into his chest before heading off to school. Exams didn't care about broken hearts. Besides, class could prove to be a good distraction as long as he didn't look for Haru while he studied. It was a plan, at least.

It didn't make it hurt any less just knowing that he was going to see Haru though. But he was going to get through this day. And tomorrow, and the day after that. He would keep doing that until he didn't hurt anymore. He just had to get through today first.

Despite his reservations about seeing Haru, it was Nagisa he spotted first. The blond stood with his arms crossed, expression sullen as he leaned against a row of lockers. His scowl darkened when he saw Makoto. Taking a deep breath, Makoto headed toward him, wondering what he had done this time. None of their friends seemed to be around so it wasn't time for fawning. What was he walking into?

As he came within arm's length of Nagisa, Makoto smiled. "Hey, Nagisa."

"You didn't call me last night."

Makoto felt the smile start to slip into a frown at Nagisa's words. "Was I supposed to?"

The blond's eyes narrowed in a very un-Nagisa-like manner. Normally Makoto would expect a pout, maybe even a frown, but eyes narrowed in…suspicion?

"Uh, yes," Nagisa said slowly. "I told you to call me when you got home. When you left with _Haru_." He said the name in a slight huff that was a little more like Nagisa.

Shifting his eyes to the side, Makoto thought back passed the pain of last night. "Oh damn," he murmured, remembering. "That's right.”

Nagisa raised an eyebrow and Makoto shrugged. "Sorry. Something came up and I didn't get a chance to really talk to anyone last night."

Fire flared in Nagisa's eyes. "Something came up? What, like you did for Haru before you fucked him?" he spat viciously.

Makoto's brows shot up and he took a step back as if Nagisa had physically hit him. "Whoa! What the hell, Nagisa?!"

Nagisa's hands clenched at his sides like he was trying to hold back a real blow and he glared up at Makoto. "Well, why else wouldn't you call me?"

Makoto looked around, wondering how many people could hear them. No one seemed to be looking in their direction, but that didn't really mean no one was listening.

"Look," he said softly. "Let's talk about this later. When we have some privacy?"

"You know what? Fuck it, Mako. I don't even care anymore. You're a fucking asshole who can't even say the right name." He paused and Makoto's eyes went wide before he sneered, "Well maybe last night you did."

Shock finally gave way to another emotion, one that did not overtake Makoto very often. It felt so foreign, but as Nagisa turned to flounce off, Makoto's temper snapped. He reached out and took a carefully controlled hold on Nagisa's arm, stopping him before he could take a step. Nagisa swung around, his face full of wrath.

"Let me go, Makoto. I'm done with you."

Makoto shook his head and pulled Nagisa close. "Oh no," he said very quietly. "We are going to have this out. Now."

There was just enough time for surprise to register on Nagisa's face before Makoto dragged him by the arm into the school. The surprise must have lasted. They were all the way through the school and up on the roof before the blond tried to pull away. He shoved Nagisa through the door and let him go before closing the door behind him and turning to lean against it. He crossed his arms.

"Now," he said, tamping his anger down so that he could have a reasonable, rational conversation with an unreasonable Nagisa. "What is your problem?"

Nagisa didn't say anything. He crossed his own arms and turned his face away, glaring a hole into the roof.

Makoto raised a brow. "Don't think you're going to out-stubborn me, Nagisa. My siblings can't do it and neither will you." He felt his voice getting rough and he took a breath to calm himself. "What. Is. Your problem?"

Nagisa's gaze flashed back to Makoto, trying to bore a hole into him, but just as he was told, Makoto was good at stubborn contests. Nagisa wasn't going to win this one. He met him, glare for glare until Nagisa finally exploded.

"You are! You're my problem!"

That was enough to startle Makoto out of his anger. He uncrossed his arms and took a step forward. "What? Why?"

"Why do you think?" Nagisa growled. "Here we are going out and you go off with Haru!"

Makoto tilted his head, frowning. He took a step back and leaned against the door again. "Nagisa, we're not dating."

"Yes we are! I told you! We're dating to get back at you for messing with me after you clearly have a thing for Haru!"

Makoto shook his head. "Yeah, you said it was payback. You never said it was real."

"How stupid do you have to be not to get that it's real," Nagisa asked, slapping his arms at his sides.

"No, it's _not_ stupid," Makoto said, narrowing his eyes. "It's confusing. That's all you've done to me for the past few weeks is confuse the hell out of me!"

Nagisa clenched his jaw and closed his eyes. "What did you think was going on, Mako? Do you really think that I was just doing this for fun?"

"Well I don't know, Nagisa," Makoto muttered. "Maybe it would make more sense if you didn't alternately fawn on and ignore me."

"I wasn't ignoring you. I was making you think about what it's like without me around."

Makoto pursed his lips. "Ah. Yes. Of course. Because writhing all over me only when others are around really gets that message across."

"I had to make sure no one tried to take you."

Makoto put his arms out, hands up, looking at the sky for some answer. "From what?!"

"From me!"

Makoto dropped his arms and let them lay nerveless at his sides. "From…you?"

Nagisa's eyes looked glassy, but he turned away before Makoto could see if those were unshed tears or just anger. 

"What do you think this has always been about," Nagisa asked quietly. "Do you really think I would announce to our friends that we were dating if it didn't mean something?"

Makoto shook his head. "What? What does it mean?"

Nagisa groaned. "That I love you!"

It was like a slap in the face. Just four words and Makoto was too shocked to breathe for a moment. "W-what?"

"You heard me!"

Makoto grit his teeth. If he thought he was confused before…where the hell was this coming from? "Yeah, I heard you, but the words don't make any sense."

Nagisa turned back around. "Are you seriously that stupid!?"

" _Stop_ calling me stupid. It's not stupid if you don't explain yourself."

"What's to explain," Nagisa asked, throwing his arms out to his sides. "I told you I love you and you're all 'Duh…love? What's that?'"

"How was I supposed to know you love me?"

Nagisa stared at him. "Why would I do… _things_ with you if I didn't love you?"

Things? For a moment Makoto was confused again, but then it hit him. _Things_. Like in the classroom and the shower. And the pool, where this whole mess started.

Makoto closed his eyes and took a few breaths before he answered. "You could have told me. That would have been a lot easier than this mind fuckery you started with this payback crap."

Nagisa's eyes went wide. "I _did_ tell you!"

"When? When did you tell me!?"

"In the shower!"

"The shower? You told me in the shower." He stared at the blond, shaking his head a little. "No, I'm pretty sure I don't remember any words of love coming out of your mouth. I remember you legs around me and wondering where we could find some lube."

"But…when I got mad at you…"

Makoto ran a hand roughly through his hair. "When you got mad at me. What about it?"

"I got mad at you because you said I didn't feel anything for you. You just didn't get it, so I got mad. That should have been a clue!"

Makoto deflated. "That? That was you telling me you loved me?" He took a deep breath before letting it out in a rush. "You pulling a mind game was how you tell me you love me?" 

The blond's eyes went wide and he took a step back. "It wasn't a mind game…"

"Oh, no?" Makoto crossed his arms again. He glared at Nagisa, his entire stance tense and it was all he could do not to reach out and throttle him.

"Then please, explain it to me. Explain to me how you getting pissed off because I apparently missed the clue about you being in love with me when you never _once_ fucking said anything about it, is not a mind game. I'd really love to hear that explanation."

Nagisa glared back defiantly. "I wanted to be with you like that because I love you!"

"Then why didn't you say it?!" Makoto almost scream it, threading the fingers of both hands through his hair and gripping tight. "Why couldn't you just tell me? Why did you have to be hot one second, and cold the next?"

"You wouldn't have listened!"

"Did you bother to try?" Makoto let out a breath. "Did you bother to give me any credit at all? Have I ever given you a reason to think that I wouldn't take you seriously? Or that I would make fun of you?" He ran a hand over his face as his voice quieted. "Don't you trust me at all?"

"Why would I trust you after what you said in the pool?"

Makoto felt the sting of guilt and he gave a shaky, bitter laugh. He looked directly into Nagisa's eyes. "You're right. I made a mistake. And I should have apologized for it sooner." He held Nagisa's gaze. "I am truly, truly sorry, Nagisa. But that doesn't mean I deserved to be treated like a toy."

"I-!"

Makoto put up a hand. "I'm absolutely certain that you never meant to treat me that way," he said with all the sincerity he could muster. "I know that's not the kind of person you are, but my feelings were hurt, too. Friends forgive each other. Not play games."

Makoto turned around and opened the door back into the school. "I hope you consider yourself paid back." He closed the door behind him.


	7. Chapter 7

He wasn't sure if it was fate, or karma or just some god's sick sense of humor that plagued him. Makoto stared, bleary-eyed at his reflection, making out some gruesome dark spots where his eyes should be and some pink spots where his cheeks were. Even his fucking ears were red. He blinked several times, trying to clear his vision and looked back down at the thermometer.

"That can't possibly be right," he muttered, glaring at the numbers. "There is no possible way a human being can get that hot."

Movement in the mirror drew his attention and he shifted his gaze to his younger brother standing in the doorway of the bathroom.

"You okay?"

Makoto shrugged and waved him off. "Fine. Fine. Just need to wash my face."

"You look like crap."

Makoto narrowed his eyes at his brother's reflection. "Don't say 'crap.'"

"But you do!"

Makoto's only response was to continue to stare at his brother who shrugged and turned away. His sister was right behind him and peered into the bathroom. "You really do look like crap, Brother."

Makoto's breath exploded out of him along with his retort. "Don't say 'crap!'"

His sister's eyes went wide and she stared at him. Makoto sighed and dropped his head. After another breath, he turned, opening his arms. "I'm sorry, Ran. I didn't mean to yell."

She didn't move right away. "Don't you feel good?"

Makoto smiled just a little. "I do feel good. All kinds of energy!" His smile broadened. "I promise."

"You shouldn't smile when you're sick," she told him, though she stepped into the room and hugged him. "It makes you look scary."

He kissed her on top of her head. "I'm not sick."

She looked up at him, tilting her head all the way back. "You're really hot. I bet you're sick."

"I'm not sick."

She turned and yelled out the door. "Mom! Older brother is sick!"

Makoto groaned and rolled his eyes before calling out, "I'm not sick!"

It didn't seem to matter though. His mother was already running into the room, her hand thrust out in front of her as she reached for Makoto's forehead. "You don't look very good, Makoto."

"Why does everyone keep saying I look like crap?"

"Don't say 'crap,'" was her absent reply and she placed her wrist against his forehead, then slipped her head down to his cheek. "You do feel really warm."

Makoto sighed again. "Look. I'm not sick," he said levelly.

Of course, it might have given him more credit if his eyes hadn't crossed and the world hadn't spun around him precisely one and a half times before he went down, taking his mother with him as he fell. There was a squawk, some slipping sounds and a few muttered oaths before he found himself in a tangle of limbs on the floor, his mother patting his cheek lightly as she looked down at him.

"Seriously, I'm not sick."

His mother didn't even dignify that with an answer. She just bundled him up, half-dragged, half-carried him into his bedroom and dropped him on his bed. She gave explicit orders that he was not to get up for any reason other than to piss, and even then, he had damn well really have to piss. Not her words, but close enough.

It turned into the longest day of his life. When he tried to sleep, his mother called up to check on him and if he didn't respond, she came to his room. If he didn't respond then, she would be _in_ his room. And if he didn't wake up, she'd shake him awake. So he just lay there with nothing to do but think. And that was really the last thing he wanted to do.

He thought back on the day before. Had he been too harsh on Nagisa? It had been going around in his brain since he'd left the roof the day before. Maybe he had, but when he thought about it, he honestly couldn't say that he would have said anything differently. He had felt exactly like a toy. He felt like he had been knocked around and played with until he didn't know what direction was up.

He knew that hadn't been Nagisa's intention. Had he been too harsh? Look at what he had done to Nagisa. Maybe he had been too harsh.

But then Makoto would think about how Nagisa had treated him and while Makoto had been a dick, he hadn’t played games. He had been upfront and honest about his feelings, even if all he had been able to express what his alternating confusion and overwhelming lust. If he'd loved Nagisa, he would tell him. That's for damn certain.

...If…

Did he…?

Makoto blinked a few times, staring up at his ceiling. He rummaged around in his brain, trying to recall everything he's ever felt for the blond, every action he had taken with him. He analyzed how he felt when he was intimate with him and compared it to how he felt when he'd kissed Haru.

He bit his tongue when he thought of how Nagisa had hurt him.

Did he?

He thought about Haru, let the hurt in, let the tears sting his eyes. He let the sadness wash over him instead of pushing it away and waited for…something.

Slowly the pain ebbed away and with it the sadness. All that was left was lingering…regret? Regret for what? Regret that Haru didn’t love him even though he loved…

Even though he loved…Nagisa?

He let those feelings and thoughts into his mind. He remembered the way he'd felt when he'd been enfolded in water with Nagisa. There was a staggering amount of lust there, but had there been more?

There had been passion, longing for something he hadn't realized he'd been missing. While he'd been happy that Haru had kissed him, there hadn't been that electricity with him that Makoto had felt with Nagisa every time they'd been together.

He let memories of all the years they had all been friends and…and what?

Had there been more…yes there had been more, something …extra with Nagisa. How had he missed that? Not even his memories with Haru had that _extra_. Longing yes, but it had been more like longing for something and not for someone. Not the kind of longing he felt with Nagisa. Not the…love.

"I love him," Makoto whispered at the ceiling. "I love him."

"Who?"

Makoto nearly came off the bed, his heart trying to beat its way out of his chest. He hadn't even heard the door open. Nagisa stood in the doorway.

"For fuck's sake, Nagisa! Make some noise!"

Nagisa glowered at him as he closed the door. "I knocked," he muttered. "It's not my fault you were too busy affirming your love for Haru-chan to hear it."

"I wasn't affirming my love for Haru."

Nagisa snorted and moved over to sit in the desk chair Makoto's mother had left by the bed. "Whatever." He pulled his bag into his lap and looked over at Makoto. "I heard you were sick."

Makoto retreated into himself. This was not shaping up to be a good encounter. His realization of his feelings was too new for him to be quite comfortable in them and to have Nagisa right there next to him while he was an invalid wasn't making that any better.

"I'm not sick," he muttered. "I just don't feel well."

"That would be the definition of sick."

With a sigh, Nagisa reached out a hand toward him, but Makoto withdrew, uncertain of what the blond wanted.

Hurt flashed through those pretty eyes and Nagisa pulled his hand back, sighing again. "I brought your homework."

Nagisa opened his bag and pulled out a folder, setting it on Makoto's desk. He put his bag down on the floor and took a deep breath before he turned back to Makoto. "Look. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry, Mako-chan. You are right."

He didn’t look at Makoto, keeping his eyes downcast while Makoto studied him. After a moment, he struggled into a seated position, leaning against his headboard. "For what?"

Nagisa's head snapped up, his eyes wide. "'For what?' Hello? What did was talk about yesterday?"

Makoto's brows drew together and he looked down at his hands in his lap. "Look. What I mean is you don't have to apologize. I was angry and said a lot of harsh things that I probably shouldn't have said."

"But you meant them."

Makoto looked at Nagisa for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah. I meant them. But I shouldn't have said them that way. I'm sorry for that."

Makoto jumped at the sudden sharp pain in his arm where Nagisa punched him a moment before. "Ouch! Jesus! What was that for?!"

"For being an asshole!" Nagisa pouted. "I'm trying to apologize here and you're all 'oh don't worry about it even though I was totally right and you were being a dick.'"

"I didn't say that!"

Nagisa shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I came here to apologize because I needed to. And I needed to tell you that I'm playing games anymore. I didn't mean to play games, but you're right. I was too much of a coward to just come out and say what I was feeling."

He looked up, staring directly into Makoto's eyes. "I love you, Mako-chan. I'm sorry I hurt you."

There was a long silence between them that seemed to go on forever with the two of them just staring at each other. Nagisa was the first to look away.

"Anyway." Nagisa sniffed, rubbing his eyes. "Anyway, I said it so, there's your homework." Nagisa stood up. "Get better soon." The blond gathered his school bag to his chest and started for the door.

"Nagisa, wait."

He turned to Makoto, his eyes wide and sparkling, hope burning in their depths. "I…" Makoto swallowed. "I, ah…I…forgive you."

The emotion drained from Nagisa's eyes and his face went slack. "Oh. Okay." He closed his eyes and turned back toward the door. "Good. That's good." He left without another word, closing the door quietly behind him.

Makoto stared at the door, his hand moving to cover his mouth. What had he just said? He _forgave_ Nagisa? Makoto groaned and banged his head against the wall. He was a fucking idiot.


	8. Chapter 8

It was two more days before Makoto was well enough to get out of bed. Of course, that day there was no school. He'd spent those two days berating himself and now that it was the weekend, he couldn't go and fix anything. He stared at his reflection in the window, unable to see past his thoughts and enjoy the spring day.

"'I forgive you?'" he muttered. "You are such an asshole, Makoto."

Why couldn't he have said what he meant? Why couldn't he have said that he loved Nagisa?

Makoto bumped his forehead against the glass of the window. "Because you're an asshole."

Taking a deep breath, Makoto drew himself straight and squared his shoulders. There was no reason he couldn't go fix this even if there wasn't any school. It would be nice to be on the neutral school grounds, but well, assholes didn't deserve neutral ground. Makoto grabbed his coat and headed to the front door.

"Makoto?" his mother called from the kitchen. "Where are you going?"

Makoto winced, then turned to face his mother who was drying her hands on a towel. "Out. I thought I'd go see Nagisa."

Makoto's mother pinched her lips together and rested her hands on her hips. "I don't know if that's a good idea.

He gave her his brightest smile. What he wouldn't give for Nagisa's smile. For that matter what he wouldn't give for Nagisa's lips…

_Get back on track, idiot._

"I feel fine. Really!"

His mother narrowed her eyes, like she was trying to see if he wasn't being honest about his condition, but he continued to smile at her and finally she sighed. "Fine. Go. Be back for supper."

Makoto's grin broadened and he wrapped his mother into a gentle hug. "Thanks," he said and pressed a light kiss to her cheek. "See you later!"

He slipped his feet into his shoes and raced out the door. His energy level diminished, though, the closer he got to Nagisa's house. Physically, he felt fine. But the closer he got, the more dread he felt. What if Nagisa was pissed? Of course, he was pissed. What if Nagisa wouldn't let him fix anything?

Before he quite realized it, he was standing at Nagisa's door and he couldn't remember how he'd gotten there. Talk about autopilot.

Makoto took a deep breath and raised his hand to the door. It opened within seconds of his last knock. Nagisa stood there, his eyes wide when he saw Makoto. They darkened and he seemed to pull in on himself.

"Hey," Makoto said lamely.

"Yeah."

Makoto licked his lips, which wasn't the best idea since that made him look at Nagisa's. He closed his eyes and muttered at himself.

"Excuse me?" Nagisa asked.

"Ah, nothing." Makoto shook his head. "Nothing. Um. Can I come in?"

"What for?"

Makoto swallowed. Okay, he kind of deserved that. "Because I want to talk to you and out on your step doesn't seem like the best place."

"I'm pretty sure there isn't anything else to talk about."

Makoto shook his head, sighing. "Please?"

Nagisa stared at him for a moment then shrugged. He turned and headed into the hall while Makoto stepped in and closed the door behind himself. He toed his shoes off and stepped into the hall with Nagisa.

"So?"

Makoto looked around. "Is…anyone home?"

Nagisa shook his head. "Not for at least an hour."

"Uh…could we…go to your room?"

Nagisa's eyes darkened a little more. "Why? Whatever you have to say can't take that long."

Makoto bit his lower lip. "Nagisa, please?"

The blond moved his hand over his face. "Fine.” He turned toward the bedroom door. Once they were both in the room and the door was closed he turned back to Makoto. "Alright, now what do-"

Makoto strode to Nagisa in a few steps and wrapped his arms around the blond. Nagisa's body went stiff, his hands clutching tightly to the backs of Makoto's arms.

"Mako-chan, what…?"

"I'm sorry, Nagisa," Makoto whispered, his voice muffled in the blond's shoulder. "God, I'm so sorry."

"For what?" he asked in a very soft voice, echoing Makoto's words a few days before.

Makoto unwrapped himself from Nagisa, sliding his hands down to hold the backs of his arms like Nagisa still held his. "For being an asshole. For saying something so stupid."

Nagisa's eyes were bright, but there was no hope in them as there had been before. "You said you forgave me. How is that stupid?"

Makoto moved his hands up to gently lay his hands on either side of Nagisa's face, the blond's hands moving to hold Makoto's wrists.

"Because I should have told you what I was feeling. And it wasn't forgiveness."

Nagisa's lips parted and his eyes turned glassy. "You mean you don't forgive me?" He sniffed. "But I'm so sorry, Mako-chan. I really, really am!"

Makoto cursed. He was still messing this up. "No, no, Nagisa, that's not what I meant. I mean that I should have told you I love you."

Nagisa went stiff again. "I-I don't think I heard you right."

Makoto opened his mouth to speak, but his eyes drifted to Nagisa's lips and with a groan he dropped his mouth to Nagisa's. The blond's hands tightened on his wrist, but he didn't pull away. Encouraged, Makoto brushed and rubbed his lips against Nagisa's trembling ones, tilting his head for a better angle.

They kissed like that, the sun filling and warming the room around them and it was this moment, this connection that Makoto missed when Haru had kissed him. The longing that had sat cold in his stomach turned into a fluttering and he moaned softly, sliding his hands down over Nagisa's neck, his shoulders, his chest, but Nagisa's hands still held his wrists, trapping his hands before they could go anywhere else.

Surprised, Makoto broke the kiss and looked down into the blond's jewel-like eyes. "Nagisa?"

"I shouldn't let you do this," he whispered. "I don't know if you really mean it."

Makoto opened his mouth to protest, but Nagisa pressed his fingers against Makoto's lips. "I love you, Mako-chan, but I can't be with you like that if you're thinking about Haru-chan. I won't be a replacement. I can't be that for you again."

Makoto pulled Nagisa's fingers away with his freed hand. "I don't want that either. There's nothing for you to replace."

Nagisa narrowed his eyes. "I don't think you mean that the way it sounded. I'm pretty sure it wasn't a compliment."

Makoto exhaled. No, it probably didn't sound right. "Look. There is only one person I want to be with, in any way, and it's not Haru."

Snorting, Nagisa rolled his eyes. "You what, you want to be with Rei-chan?"

He couldn't help the short burst of laughter that erupted out of him. The thought was so ridiculous that he couldn't help but laugh.

"No," he said after a moment. "I'm pretty sure he wouldn't look good as a blond." Makoto reached out and brushed the blond bangs out of Nagisa's ruby eyes. "And his eyes wouldn't the right color."

Nagisa nibbled his lower lip. "I really want to believe you, Mako-chan. But, you were with Haru…"

Makoto watched him carefully. "Nothing happened with Haru, Nagisa."

Nagisa stared at him, that hope starting to come back into his eyes, but it was guarded. "But..the other night when you went home with him and you didn't call me…"

Makoto lowered his eyes and sighed. "Haru kissed me," he admitted. "But, that was it. It was a kiss." He looked back at Nagisa, but the blond’s face was expressionless. Makoto reached a hand out, cupping Nagisa's cheek. "And it didn't feel right," he told him. "It didn't feel like it does when I kiss you."

Nagisa bit his lip again. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I want to be with you, Nagisa. I love you."

"You were pretty in love with Haru," Nagisa said. "Why the sudden change of heart?" And the unspoken question, _when will you do that me?_

"It wasn't all that sudden," Makoto murmured, dropping his eyes and his hands till they rested on Nagisa's shoulders. "It wasn't real."

"It seemed pretty real."

Makoto shook his head. "It wasn't. Yeah, I thought I wanted to be with him, but then I kissed you. I touched you. When Haru kissed me, it wasn't real. It wasn't you. It didn't have the feeling in it the way my feelings just explode out of me when I'm with you."

Nagisa watched him, his eyes shifting back and forth between both of Makoto's. "I want to believe you Mako-chan…"

Makoto sighed. "I guess it's going to take time," he murmured, his gaze dropping down again. "I can't expect you to believe me after what I said that one night."

Nagisa pressed his lips together and tilted his head down so he could look into Makoto's eyes. "Kiss me," he said softly.

Makoto blinked. "What?"

Nagisa smiled, though it trembled a little. "Kiss me. Make me believe."

Slowly, carefully, Makoto brought both of his hands up to Nagisa’s face again, his eyes staring into Nagisa's. He tilted his head forward and pressed his lips lightly against the blond's, brushing them once, twice, all the while his eyes watched Nagisa's. His thumbs slid slowly over Nagisa's cheeks. He pulled away a little and licked his lips before he leaned in again, this time closing his eyes.

His lips moved slowly, trying to engage Nagisa's. The blond's lips were soft, but unyielding. He opened his eyes to find Nagisa staring back at him, his expression one of waiting. Makoto tried again. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Nagisa's once more, the tip of his tongue slipping out to lick at the seam of Nagisa's lips.

Nagisa still didn't react.

Makoto sighed and pulled away, once more opening his eyes. Nagisa's head was tilted to the side, but he still looked like he was waiting for something. Clearly, Makoto had shitty persuasive kissing skills.

"Like I thought," he murmured. "It's going to take time."

"I guess so?" Nagisa replied. "You weren't very convincing."

With another sigh, Makoto shook his shoulders back and stood taller. "In that case, I guess I'd better go."

Nagisa raised an eyebrow. "I guess so?"

"Okay, then," Makoto said. "Then I guess I'll be going." And he put words to action, turning and touching the door handle.


	9. Chapter 9

"Seriously?"

Makoto stopped, his hand in the process of turning the door knob. He turned back, his brows furrowed. "Um…yes?"

Nagisa rolled his eyes. "I told you to convince me, Mako-chan. And you're giving up after that shitty attempt?"

There was a spark in Makoto's heart. Something that might be hope, but might also be a heart attack. "What do you mean?"

"Don't give me that," Nagisa said, though there wasn't much heat in the words. "You know that was a crappy attempt to kiss me. I've gotten better kisses from a dog. At least that had tongue!"

"There was tongue!" Makoto said defensively.

Nagisa rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, right. If you say so. I expected so much more from you, Mako-chan." He sighed. "I guess you don't really love me."

The words were a little rough, but there was a gleam in Nagisa's eyes that made the spark in Makoto's heart flare into something he hoped wasn't a serious heart attack.

"I guess…I could try again…?"

"If you think you can do better this time."

There was a slight twitch at the corners of Nagisa's lips and that flare in Makoto's heart bloomed into full on hope. "I maybe could," he said.

He took the two steps back to Nagisa and pulled him tightly against his body so that Nagisa gasped. While the blond's lips were still parted, Makoto drew Nagisa's mouth to this. He slanted his lips over Nagisa's slowly, delving his tongue past those lush lips and touching the tip of Nagisa's tongue.

He couldn't help the soft moan that slipped out of him and was answered by Nagisa. Makoto's hands slipped down to Nagisa's waist and hooked his fingers into the belt loops of his jeans, pulling their bodies flush against each other. Nagisa moaned again and wrapped his arms around Makoto's waist.

The kiss deepened, Makoto sweeping the inside of Nagisa's mouth, exploring and experiencing all anew now that was aware of his feelings for Nagisa. The blond's hands were sliding around his low back, tugging at the hem of his shirt. He pulled it up and plastered his hands against Makoto's skin. His own hands left Nagisa's waist and smoothed up his back to his shoulders, staying tamely out of any erogenous zones. He wasn't all that certain he could control himself if he touched Nagisa like that.

Nagisa, it seemed had other ideas. His hand slid up Makoto's back, his fingers moving over the muscles slowly, bringing the back of Makoto's shirt up with him. When he got to Makoto's shoulders, he pulled away long enough to tug the shirt over Makoto's head, surprising him.

"Nagisa?"

He didn't answer in words, pulling his own shirt off over his head before he was back against Makoto, pulling his head down to kiss him again. Now skin to skin, Makoto could feel every beat of Nagisa's heart, every breath he took. It felt just as amazing here as it did in the shower. Better here because he wasn't confused anymore.

"I love you, Nagisa," he whispered against the blond's lips.

Nagisa pulled away far enough to look into Makoto's eyes. "Are you really sure?" he asked, his voice soft.

"Yeah, I am," Makoto whispered back. "I really do love you."

Nagisa smiled. "Good, 'cause I love you, too."

Makoto grinned. His heart swelled and he felt like he could walk on air. He felt so completely free, his feelings no longer confused.

He leaned forward to kiss the blond again, whispering, "Nagisa."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I want to thank every one of you. I can't tell you what it means to me that you have waited for me to get over life and get my stuff together long enough to get this done. Every one of you is the reason I do this and it means so much to me that you can hold out for this. Thank you so very, very much!


End file.
